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MARCHING POWDER

describe it any other way. I felt that I was somehow more alive than I'd ever been before.

For several minutes I couldn't get beyond that feeling. I had never experienced anything like it. I looked around the room at everyone else, wondering how they could act as if everything was so normal, when it so clearly wasn't.

The girl next to me caught my eye again. She smiled at me and raised her eyebrows, and I smiled back. Then we launched into a long conversation. I had no trouble speaking to her because my thoughts were coming to me more quickly. In fact, my Spanish seemed to have improved and I began talking non-stop. If I didn't know the word for something, it didn't bother me; I could get around it or have a guess based on the word in English. Sometimes I'd get it wrong, but that didn't matter, she could understand me and I could understand her too. I could now do what I wanted and say what I wanted. I was communicating! But most of all, I was just plain happy. I felt connected to the people in the room. Everyone was talking, but even without saying anything, it's like we were all on the same level.

'I told you,' she put her hand on my knee and kissed my cheek again. She knew.

The strongest part of the effect began wearing off after half an hour. I was still high, but I wanted more. I had two more puntitos when the bag came around again, which brought me back up, although not like the first time. A third set kept me high, but after that it reached a plateau.

When I did more after that, my leg started shaking and I couldn't stop it. My nose also started sweating and I could feel my heart racing.

'That's just nerves,' Ricardo said to me in English when he saw me observing my knees as if they weren't part of my own body. 'It's perfectly normal. Have some more rum if you feel nervous.'

'No, I feel great. Thanks for this. It's amazing.'

'What did you expect, my friend? That's San Pedro vintage you're trying there.'

'Well, then. I think maybe I should get thrown in prison more often.'

Ricardo laughed. 'But remember it's your first time, inglés, so take it easy. You really don't need too much coke if it's pure.'