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MARCHING POWDER

couldn’t remember them. Whenever I tried to get off the pills, I had the most horrible nightmares, usually about Yasheeda, and I always remembered the exact details. The one that recurred most strongly involved her ex-boyfriend. I had seen his photo when it fell out of her diary one morning, so I knew what he looked like. He was tall and strong and, in my nightmares, he was always nice to me.

The worst nightmare occurred on the night that the police informed me I was due to go to court the following day for the beginning of my trial. In the nightmare, Yasheeda’s ex-boyfriend sat me down and explained that she had made a big mistake because she had been confused at the time she met me.

‘She’s with me now,’ he said. ‘I just wanted you to know it was nothing you did wrong. Don’t feel bad.’ He was really apologetic. And then they kissed in front of me and it was like I wasn’t even there.