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MARCHING POWDER

getting me out of San Pedro. He told me not to do any more tours, sell any more coke or take any more risks that might get me in trouble. He also agreed to help me look for money and began asking some of his friends for loans.

There were three judges sitting on my case. I sent a message to only two of them - enough to be found innocent in a split decision - asking how much they required. They sent back a message saying eight thousand US dollars, four thousand each. The figure wasn't negotiable, they said. It was a lot of money considering how weak the fiscal's case was and that the judges must have suspected I was innocent. But I already knew that neither of these factors counted towards Bolivian justice. If you had money and knew people, you were innocent. If you didn't, you were guilty. It was that simple.

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Because of my trial, I had decided to stop taking cocaine. Roberto wanted to quit also. Before he was sentenced, he had believed there was some hope that his lawyers might get him off on a legal technicality. Now that he had his sentence, he finally accepted that he was going to be in San Pedro for a while. We made a brotherhood pact: no more cocaine. We would quit together. If either of us was ever tempted to take some, he had to go to the other to ask for help and to find the strength to resist.

Before quitting completely, Roberto and I needed to have one final party, though. We bought five grams between us and stayed up all night doing lines and discussing the precise details of our pact. We both agreed it was unrealistic to think that anyone could suddenly stop forever, just like that. So, we changed the rules slightly: if one of us was tempted to take something, we could, but we had to tell the other first. We couldn't stop the other from taking it; the aim was to give each other support and be completely honest with each other. No matter what, we had to be honest, like brothers. Rusty was no longer staying in San Pedro, and right then, I needed a brother in prison. I felt very alone knowing that Abregon and Samir were both dead and that Ricardo wasn't coming back.

By the time the bell rang for lista the following morning, everything was settled. We stood and embraced like brothers, before walking down the stairs to the courtyard.